Improving the Health of Your Relationship

If you want others to feel your interest, keep reading. Show them your desire to connect; they may sense your love. If you want to 1) make joint decisions with your spouse or partner, 2) have more agreement and fewer arguments, 3) communicate openly, and 4) feel more self-control, then follow this process: appreciating, journaling, reflecting, and contemplating will help you along the way.

Find a way to move along the continuum below away from Juvenile in the direction of Maturity.

Juvenile to Maturity

1. Free Stress Activities

Gain self-knowledge: You can’t avoid stress, but you can stop it from becoming overwhelming by practicing some daily strategies:

 Relieve stress in the moment

When you’re frazzled by your morning commute, you need a way to manage your stress levels right now. Are you stuck in a stressful meeting at work? Maybe you’re fried from another argument with your spouse? You need a way to manage your stress levels right now. That’s where quick stress relief comes in.

The fastest way to reduce stress is by taking a deep breath. Use your senses. What you see, hear, taste, and touch—or through a soothing movement. By viewing a favorite photo, smelling a specific scent, listening to a favorite piece of music. By tasting a piece of gum, or hugging a pet, you can quickly relax and focus on yourself.

Of course, not everyone responds to each sensory experience similarly. The key to quick stress relief is experimenting and discovering the unique sensory experiences that work best for you.

Make time for fun and relaxation.

Set aside leisure time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.

Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.

Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in several ways.

Ways to prevent stress

Many daily strategies can help you keep stress at bay:

• • • • Try relaxation activities, such as meditation, yoga, tai chi, breathing exercises, and muscle relaxation. Programs are available online, in smartphone apps, and at many gyms and community centers.

• • • • Take good care of your body each day. Eating right, exercising, and getting enough sleep help your body handle stress much better.

• • • • Stay positive and practice gratitude, acknowledging your day’s or life’s good parts.

• • • • Accept that you can’t control everything. Find ways to let go of worry about situations you cannot change.

• • • • Learn to say “no” to additional responsibilities when you are too busy or stressed.

• • • • Stay connected with people who keep you calm, make you happy, provide emotional support and help you with practical things. A friend, family member, or neighbor can become a good listener or share responsibilities so that stress doesn’t overwhelm them.

6. Free Mindfulness Activities

Mindfulness Exercises

Posted By Mike Robinson

Gain self-knowledge: Carrying out mindfulness exercises at home is simple and requires only frequent practice. This psychological concept based on Buddhist meditation. It has spread throughout the West and can be an ideal method to cure anxiety and an effective relaxation technique.

Mindfulness is translated into Spanish as “Full Attention.” It is defined as the human capacity to be in the present. It also means to remember to be in the present. That is, to constantly return to the here and now, to recognize what is happening while it is happening. Experience personal growth.

Mindfulness Exercises

It is based on the so-called four noble truths:

1. 1.  

• • Suffering is inherent in the human condition.

• • The source of suffering is dissatisfaction with desire.

• • The elimination of suffering lies in the elimination of desire.

• • The eightfold path for eliminating suffering consists of understanding, thinking, word, action, occupation, effort, attention, and concentration.

The main instruction for practicing mindfulness is to show what appears in the mind, just watch it. It is accepting without judging, criticizing or reacting. You have to keep a beginner’s mind, as if everything was new, have mental openness and not sticking. Have an attitude of compassion, kindness and affection towards one’s own experience, as presented in the present moment. Access a Psychologist.

Mindfulness exercises to practice at home

Although it may be difficult to practice mindfulness in the beginning, it will become easier for us in time. As in everything, the usual practice will help us get more skill until we can do it almost automatically.

Here are a series of exercises that you can practice easily and simply to get started in mindfulness.

1- Conscious breathing

This is one of the most used exercises in mindfulness. With a little practice you can get to control in a short time. You can carry it out in any place or situation. The benefits it has are numerous, including almost immediate reduction of levels of anxiety and stress .

Normally we perform a superficial breathing, called the thoracic. For conscious and deep breathing (also called diaphragmatic breathing) we can follow the following steps:

• • Find a comfortable place where you can lie down and rest easy. The background music relaxing or nature sounds can be of help.

• • First locate the diaphragm by placing your hands on the abdomen, just where the ribs end.

• • Slowly inhale and note as your hands rise upward. Ensure the chest area does not move. Only the area where you have your hands will swell.

• • Now breathe out and feel your hands go down again. Imagine your abdomen is a balloon that is deflating until all the air comes out. Do not force your breath, adjust yourself to the rhythm your body requires.

• • Once you control your breathing you can do it anywhere and in any position. Pay attention to inhalation and exhalation. Concentrate only on that and the sound you make in carrying them out. If thoughts appear outside the breath, let them flow. Do not try to reject them. Just watch them and concentrate on your breathing again.

2- Watch a candle

Another way to focus your attention in a simple way is to adopt a comfortable posture. Do this in a room without noises or with relaxing background music. Watch the flame of a candle for a few minutes. Concentrate on the shape, the color, the variations that you have, etc.

Same as in the previous case, if during practice, thoughts appear. Do not try to control them or to avoid them. Just watch them and let them be. Then resume concentration on the candle and its movement.

3- Watch a movie, read a book, listen to music

In short, it is about choosing an activity that you like. It should make you feel good. Dedicate yourself solely and fully to it. That is, turn off the mobile, the computer, etc. and concentrate on seeing, hearing, feeling. Do this in a conscious way. Leave aside for a few minutes everything else. Consciously enjoy that moment.

4- Color, draw, write

Creativity is one of the most suitable ways of living the present. Develop it in the way that best suits your way of being. Develop it in a manner that you like. Develop it in a way that brings you more well-being. The time you spend creating is time fully aware of what you are doing. It keeps you away from the day-to-day thoughts and concerns.

It is not a matter of making a great creation, or of being perfect. The benefit of this practice is to achieve a state of relaxation and full awareness of what you are doing.

5- Eat consciously

Due to the daily rush, we forget that eating can become a very rewarding experience. This can happen not only when we go to a restaurant or on some special occasion.

Enjoy the smells, the colors, the texture and the flavors that the food offers you every day. Do it slowly, without haste, identifying each hue and enjoying the experience fully.

6- Know yourself

This is the most appropriate way to be self-conscious. Knowing our defects, our virtues, the motivations or aspirations we have. Perform an internal reflection and list all of the above. You can perform reflection weekly and go adding or removing things from the list.

In this way, in addition to knowing ourselves, we will understand our thoughts, feelings and ways of acting. Accept yourself as you are, from understanding and caring for yourself. Understand the defects as an aspect that is part of you, but that can be modified if you wish.

7- Learn to guide your focus of attention

We often focus on the past, on what has already happened. Or we focus on the future, on what is to come and how we are going to face it. To live the present moment, it is crucial to focus your attention on what you are doing. Pay attention to the task at hand. Take a shower. Prepare food. Drive. Work. Be with your partner. Do homework with your children, etc.

It is about living fully in the here and now and anchoring our attention in the present moment. Every time you see your focus drift back to the task you are doing right now.

8- Practice gratitude

Being grateful is one of the attitudes that we are most concerned about. They make you feel good, value your surroundings and enjoy a new day. You can do it in the morning when you wake up or just at bedtime. Be grateful to have had the opportunity to enjoy a new day, to spend time with your loved ones or to have enjoyed some good times.

Every day we live pleasant experiences. If we do not stop to think about them in a conscious way, they go completely unnoticed. We need to pay attention to them.

9- Accept everything

Accepting does not mean resigning oneself, but accepting things as they come. Both good and bad things, positive as well as negative experiences. The first step in dealing with the negative things that happen to us in life is to accept them. You need to feel the pain or the sadness it produces.

By ignoring our emotions, we cannot effectively address them or properly channel the feelings that trouble us. Similarly, make an effort to accept others along with their strengths and weaknesses. Embrace them even with those traits that irritate you.

Each individual has their own thoughts, emotions, concerns, etc. and it is essential to understand that each person has the right to act as he sees fit, regardless of whether it seems to us right or wrong.

Understanding this can profoundly improve our relationship with others, because we will no longer require them to behave as we would like them to behave and feel free to act as they will or can.

10- Dedicate yourself more time

Turn time spent with you into a routine. Think about what you like to do, how you feel good, and make it a habit. Reading, writing, sports, watching a movie, meditating, etc. Take advantage of these moments to connect with you, to know how you feel and what you think, at what point you are and where you want to go.

Take advantage of these moments to thank for everything that makes you happy, to recreate what makes you feel good (family, friends, hobbies, work, occupations, experiences, moments, etc.) and that makes you enjoy life fully.

Benefits of mindfulness

In recent years, many studies have been done around the practice of mindfulness and these have yielded conclusive data on the benefits it reports in people. Some of the most outstanding are:

1. 1. 1. 1. Practicing mindfulness contributes to reducing physical pain and emotional reaction to it. Some research indicates that physical pain is reduced in some cases to 93%.

1. 1. 1. 1. It improves the person’s mood and quality of life. When we are well and live in a positive way, we feel a greater well-being with ourselves, with those around us and with life in general.

1. 1. 1. 1. It improves concentration ability and creativity and therefore improves academic performance and in the workplace.

1. 1. 1. 1. Protects against mental illness . A study carried out at the University of Oregon in the United States, concludes that the practice of mindfulness can generate physical changes in the brain, increasing the connections between the cells and the growth of myelin , which can prevent the onset of mental illness .

1. 1. 1. 1. It serves as a remedy against depression , anxiety and stress . Studies in this field indicate that people who practice mindfulness have lower levels of cortisol , the stress hormone.

1. 1. 1. 1. Helps sleep better . A study conducted at the University of Utah concluded that people who have high levels of mindfulness have better control over their emotions and less activation at bedtime, which has benefits in sleep quality .

1. 1. 1. 1. Practice strengthens the immune system .

1. 1. 1. 1. Improves heart and circulatory health by lowering blood pressure.

Key concepts

On many occasions we confuse mindfulness with other practices or theories. That is why it is important to know what is not mindfulness:

• • • • It is not about trying to relax.

• • • • It is not a religion.

• • • • It does not try to transcend daily life.

• • • • It is not emptying the mind of thoughts.

• • • • Its practice is not difficult, over time we can realize it almost without realizing it, automatically.

• • • • It is not a way of escaping, denying or abstracting from pain.

Usually, in our daily lives, we are in the present only partially, because while we perform different tasks, our mind is usually in the past or in the future, without paying full attention to what we are doing or what is happening in that moment. Gain Self-Knowledge.

When this happens, many experiences and moments go unnoticed. Also, when the emotions we experience are negative or unpleasant, we tend to avoid them, deny them and / or judge them. Mindfulness proposes to accept them and let them be as they are presented. Negative, as well as positive, emotions are necessary and adaptive.

They help us to convey to others how we feel, regulates the behavior of others towards us and so does social interaction. Trying to avoid negative emotions will only generate more suffering to the situation that is already painful in itself. Access a Psychologist.

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3. Free Anxiety Activities

Anxiety

Focus on your breathing, let it slow down, and start breathing from your belly instead of your chest. Notice your abdomen expands and contracts with each breath. Focus on breathing from your belly as though a balloon is inflating and deflating in your stomach with each breath. Experience personal growth.

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Body Scan Exercise

1. 1. 1. 1. Get comfortable. I prefer lying down as it is the easiest way to relax my muscles. Sitting comfortably is also an option if you’re at work.

1. 1. 1. 1. Take a few deep breaths. Let your breathing slow down. Start breathing from your belly instead of your chest. Then let your abdomen expand and contract with each breath. Focus on breathing from your belly as though a balloon is inflating and deflating in your stomach with each breath.

1. 1. 1. 1. Bring awareness to your feet. Now slowly bring your attention down to your feet. Begin observing sensations in your feet and toes. If you notice pain, acknowledge it without any judgment, thoughts, or emotions accompanying it, and gently breathe through it.

1. 1. 1. 1. Breathe into the tension. If you notice any stiff or uncomfortable sensations, focus on them. Breathe into them, and see what happens. Visualize the tension leaving your body with each exhalation and evaporating into the air. Move on when you feel ready.

1. 1. 1. 1. Scan your entire body. Continue this practice with each area of your body. Gradually move up through your feet until you reach the top of your head. Start from your feet. Move to your calves and thighs. Then your buttocks, lower back, abdomen, chest, upper back, shoulders, arms, hands, neck, face, and top of the head.

1. 1. 1. 1. Notice how you were feeling and where you were holding your stress. If there’s any residual tightness, pain, or pressure, breathe into it. This can help you release tension in your body right now. Be more aware of it in the future so you can release it then, too.

Tips

• • • • Practice this body scan anytime you feel stressed or several times throughout the day as a regular practice. It relaxes the body and focuses the mind.

• • • • If you don’t have much time, you can do an abbreviated version of this body scan. Just sit and notice any place in your body where you’re carrying tension rather than moving from part to part. This will become easier the more you practice.

• • • • The body scan can promote body awareness, stress awareness, and relaxation. Practice it often. You can also try progressive muscle relaxation, breathing exercises, or visualization exercises for releasing stress and tension in your body.

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Advanced Resources

OK, I’ve started a collection of insightful ways of improving our emotional state and the quality of our lives. It seems self-evident. Some of us look at life or the situations we find ourselves in and blame those experiences for everything. This ranges from a low salary to the trouble our kids get into to the conflicts we encounter.

But it may be more advantageous for us to find new ways of thinking about things. This can be the control we’ve been looking for all our lives. I’ll add to this collection as I learn more that I hope is valuable enough to share. Experience personal growth.

Design an Alliance with Life

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You can reflect on and contemplate everything you experience daily in your journal. There isn’t a right or a wrong way to do this. Just write openly and honestly about everything and anything that comes to mind in as much detail as possible. You can re-read it later. Sometimes your past writing makes no sense, and sometimes, it’s insightful. Give it a try. Best of all, it’s completely confidential. Experience personal growth.

2. Free Relationship Activities

Relationships

https://antonpsych.com/intimacy-resources/

Journaling on Your Relationships

Pick a relationship. Here are a couple of helpful questions to journal about. Experience personal growth.

• • • • What is my story about this relationship, and why is it complicated/difficult, etc.?

• • • • What evidence have I collected to support this story (examples of behaviors the other person has said or done)?

• • • • What might be possible if I had a different perspective on this story?

Next time you are with this person, implement what you’ve discovered from your answers. Then journal on what happens in your relationship. Be a better version of YOU.

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